Teeth, Michael Lichtenstein
Tonight, or rather this morning, I watched a bizarre movie. Teeth, by director Michael Lichtenstein, is the most ridiculous and intriguing movie i’ve seen, possibly ever. The plot follows a very pro-abstinence teenage girl during a period of angst in which she deals with her lustful cravings. She unfortunately loses her virginity to a fellow ringbearer by force. The unsuspecting victim of the incident is the boy, who is dealt a hefty consequence of having his penis bitten off. He then unconsequently is found dead, appearing to have died from his wound. The girl then realizes that there is something bizarrely wrong with her and turns to the internet for help. She finds articles about a mythical vagina dentata, and self-diagnoses herself. Meanwhile, the plot also peeks into the goings-on of her step-brother. He appears to have an odd aversion to vaginas, as he only screws his current girlfriend in the ass. This can be linked back to an incident when he was young and attempted to sexually harass his now step-sister. Throughout mulitple injuries, and ridiculous acting antics, the plot reveals a dark side to the girl that no one expects, and i doubt anyone cares to see.
This movie was bizarre, and so i give it props. But it was also poorly directed, and so I couldn’t enjoy it as much. The actors were annoying at many moments, and the story tended to lose focus. I found myself regularly repulsed by the antics of the men, and hoping that their penises or fingers would be bittten off. I wasn’t disappointed. All in all, only worth watching at 3:00 am.
